He Heard My Cry Chapter 16-24

Quinn's Library by Jasmine L

 

When Sully develops a mysterious illness, the entire family comes to his aid;

not only for his physical wellbeing but his spiritual as well.

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.”

Psalms 116:1

 

“The great art of life is sensation to feel that we exist, even in pain.”

 ~ Lord Byron

Chapter 16

 

    Sully’s recovery time was slow after the operation. The hemorrhaging in his lungs was corrected by the surgery, but this mobility was limited. In addition, the state of his leukemia was stagnant. He had just woken up to an empty recovery room; judging by the light coming in from the window, it was mid-morning. He wondered why Michaela was absent. He tried to sit up, but was unable, his lungs still recovering.

 

For a while, Sully stared up at ceiling, considering things before the door opened and a familiar voice spoke.

 

“Aho.”

 

“Cloud Dancing,” Sully raised his head. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I have been here for a while,” the medicine man pulled up a chair. “So have your children.”

 

“The kids are here?” Sully blinked.

 

Cloud Dancing nodded.

 

“You have been had a lot of medicine,” he said.

 

“Where’s Michaela?” Sully inquired, his voice strained.

 

“She is with the doctors,” Cloud Dancing said.

 

Weakly sighing, Sully turned his head away. Cloud Dancing could sense the heaviness in his heart.

 

This was a strange setting for both of them; the city and hospital. Cloud Dancing didn’t understand this kind of medicine. He couldn’t conceive how his brother could ever heal under these circumstances. He perceived Sully’s eyes to grow heavy.

 

“You need rest,” he was about to rise.

 

“Don’t leave,” Sully nearly pleaded.

 

Cloud Dancing blinked, momentarily puzzled.

 

Sully let out a defeated sigh. “I…I don’t remember much lately,” he said. “It’s just good to somebody,” he blew out a nervous laugh.

 

Cloud Dancing situated back into the chair.

 

“Your body has endured much,” he said. “You need healing.”

 

“That’s what I thought I came here for,” Sully replied.

 

The older man frowned slightly.

 

“Truth is…I feel worse than when I first got sick…”

 

Cloud Dancing was not surprised. He didn’t believe in this kind of medicine, let alone on someone like Sully.

 

“This medicine is…” Cloud Dancing paused, trying to think of the word. “Chemicals. My father’s taught me all medicine comes from the earth. You know this.”

 

“This medicine…hurts,” Sully said. “I ain’t never felt nothing like this.”

 

Cloud Dancing did not expect the tears that rose in his brother’s eyes; but he was not surprised. Without a word, he reached out a touched his hand.

 

Sully sucked in a breath, trying to hold back the emotions. Cloud Dancing rose from his seat and sat on the side of the bed. Reaching out a hand, he rubbed his brother’s chest.

 

“I don’t wanna be here anymore,” Sully tried to hold back the emotions.

 

“Have you told Michaela?” Cloud Dancing wondered.

 

Sully shook his head.

 

“She’s scared,” he said. “I don’t wanna cause here more worry.”

 

“Either way, she will be worried,” the medicine man pointed out.

 

Sully looked away. Cloud Dancing noticed a change come over his brother’s expression.

 

“Sully?”

 

Exhaling loudly, Sully tightly shut his eyes, holding his side.

 

“I will get Michaela,” the medicine man said.

 

“No,” Sully grunted. “It’s just…my…my side.”

 

Cloud Dancing was about to go get Michaela, but Sully squeezed his hand; trying to make him stay or in pain, Cloud Dancing could not tell. His pain was quickly increasing, making it difficult for him to breath steady or speak.

 

The medicine man stood over Sully, stroking his forehead and speaking familiar, comforting words in Cheyenne.

 

“Sully,” Michaela had entered.

 

Cloud Dancing made space for Michalea, but still held onto Sully.

 

Sully moaned and sunk deeper in the bed.

 

“M-mmmichaela,” it was hard to speak.

 

“Shh, I’m here,” Michaela reached for him. “Breathe, Sully,” she put a hand on his chest.

 

Sully’s breathing wasn’t steadying and Michaela knew his pain would not go away any time soon. Turning around, she gathered some medicine and prepared an injection.

 

Cloud Dancing held Sully’s arm still while Michaela administered the medicine.

 

“No,” Sully tried to pull his arm away, but was surprisingly weak. “No medicine.”

 

“Sully,” Michaela touched his bearded cheek. “It will take away the pain. Please.”

 

His eyes pleaded otherwise, but figured there was no other way. Sully turned his face away as the injection pierced his skin. He groaned slightly and could nearly feel the medicine enter his system.

 

A moment passed and Michaela settled near her husband.

 

“Better?” She held his hand.

 

Sully shook his head, gripping his sternum.

 

“I…I think I’m…gonna be sick,” he awkwardly tried to sit up.

 

Immediately, Cloud Dancing helped Sully sit up, while Michaela reached for a basin. Michaela held the basin near, since he could not bend over due to his stitches. His body tensed as thick vomit poured from his mouth.

 

The regurgitation lasted a while and Sully’s pain greatly increased. He sweated profusely and when it was finally over felt as if he were going to pass out.

 

“It’s alright,” Michaela wiped a cool cloth on his head.

 

Sitting back, Sully’s breathing began to regulate; while he kept a hold of his wife’s hand.

 

“How do you feel now?” Cloud Dancing said.

 

“Not too good,” he sunk into the bed. “Still having…pain,” he swallowed hard. “I just wanna sleep,” he turned to his wife.

 

Michaela laid another blanket across him, gently tucking him in.

 

“Close your eyes,” she said. “The children will be here soon. We’ll talk more once you’re rested.”

 

Michaela situated herself so Sully’s head rested on her lap. She could feel his restlessness. With a look of worried helplessness, Michaela’s eyes met Cloud Dancing. He sadly hung his head as they waited for the children to arrive.

 

XXXXX

 

  Sully had awoken a few hours and was able to stomach a small amount of food. Although his surroundings were taking a toll on him, he tried his best to be positive. Movement caused him a great deal of pain but he didn’t let Michaela know; for fear that she’d make him stay in bed.

 

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sully wanted to at least walk to the window, but he was unable to rise. The painful sensation that rang through his body was unbearable. All he could was sit through it and try to keep his thoughts calm.

 

“Pa,” Brian’s voice was heard.

 

He hadn’t heard the door open. As his family entered the room, Sully knew he wouldn’t be able to hide his pain from them.

 

“Sully?” Michaela immediately noticed his pain. “Are you alright?” She sat at his side.

 

He leaned back, trying to regulate his breathing; a nod was his only response.

 

“Oh, you should be lying down,” Michaela said.

 

“No,” Sully’s voice was strained. “I-I-I’ll be alright,” he grimanced in pain.

 

“Where’s the pain, Sully?” Michaela’s eyes scanned over his body.

 

He shook his head, knowing she would give him more medicine that would make him sleep.

 

“Sully, please,” Michaela pleaded.

 

“I’m fine,” he tried to power through. “It’ll go away.”

 

Michaela’s heart broke to see his face reflect this physical agony.

“Sully-”

 

“I don’t want any more of that medicine,” he harshly cut in.

 

He was always stubborn, so Michaela wasn’t surprised; but this time things were different. This wasn’t an injury, a broken bone or migraine. This was a life threating disease and if Sully didn’t cooperate his body would turn against him.

 

“Sully,” she took hold of his hand. “I know you don’t like that medicine, I know how it makes you feel…but you need something. Otherwise, you won’t get any better,” she brushed backed a few locks of hair from his face.

 

Sully looked at her disappointed and defeated, he knew she was right; but how could he explain how he felt. He didn’t know how to tell her and even if he did, he didn’t want to frighten his children.

 

They looked at his with eyes pleading for him to listen. He glanced at Michaela with slow nod.

 

“Here,” she rose. “Just lie back.”

 

Noticing his painful struggle, Matthew gently grabbed hold of legs, helping him sit back. Sully couldn’t help the groan of pain that escaped as he got settled.

 

As the medicine entered his system, Sully could feel that strange sensation settle in. He didn’t feel better, but he didn’t feel worse…yet. The only really comfort was his family gathered around. Although he did hate to have them put their lives on pause because of him, he was truly grateful for their presence.

 

“Better?” Michaela returned to his side.

 

“My head…feels funny,” he swallowed.

 

“Just try to relax,” she rubbed a gentle hand across his thigh.

 

Sully turned his attention to the children and they could see the sorrow in his eyes.

 

“You didn’t have to come all the way here,” he said.

 

Matthew tisked at him.

“Course we did,” he said.

“We wouldn’t go through this alone,” Colleen said, standing next to her husband.

 

“I’m alright,” Sully said, lied.

 

Matthew drew in a deep breath and leaned forward in his seat.

 

“When Dr. Mike’s ma got sick, we took stage coach and train all the way to Boston,” he said. “Don’t you know we’d sleep in the street for you if we had to.”

 

Sully turned his head. Michaela touched his chin and looked at him with a gentle expression.

 

“Sully,” she spoke softly. “Don’t…” she stroked his now full beard. “Don’t shut us out. Now is not the time for you to be alone.”

 

He knew she was right. Despite their years together Sully was accustomed to being alone, it was almost his default; but he knew better.

 

Still in pain or in embarrassment, they couldn’t tell, Sully hung his head.

 

“Thank you,” he spoke in a low voice.

 

Brian reached out and held his father’s hand. He couldn’t help but notice how different, skinny it felt. He had known Sully’s strength almost his whole life and now seeing him in such pain, weak and that look in his eyes, it almost unbearable.

 

“You’re gonna get better, Pa,” the boy attempted.

 

“I’m trying,” Sully said. “It’s just I…” he stopped with a distance look in his eyes.

 

“What is it?” Michaela encouraged.

 

Sully’s chest ached as he drew in a shaky breath.

 

“I ain’t feeling any better,” he said.

 

Without him noticing, the children exchanged worried glanced to another. Sully’s hand gripped his chest.

 

“I think I need to lie down,” he looked to his wife.

 

She and Matthew helped him lie down and he was silently grateful for the assistance.

 

“Do you need anything?” Michaela stroked his forehead.

 

“I’m cold,” he admitted.

 

Two thick blankets were already laid across him. As Michaela gathered another, she tried not to let her worry be noticed by the children, but she was failing.

 

“Rest now, my darling,” she said. “We’re all here with you.”

Again, Sully looked the children, his eyes growing heavy with sleep.

 

“Thank you,” he said before dozing off.

 

“His pain is getting worse,” Matthew said when he was certain Sully was asleep.

 

“The medicine doesn’t appear to be helping, other than making him sleep,” Michaela said.

 

“Maybe…” Matthew fingered at his hat. “Maybe Cloud Dancing was right.”

 

“About what?” Colleen turned to him.

 

“After he visited with Sully the other day, he was telling me how this isn’t the place for healing. How’s he supposed to get better lying in bed all day?”

 

“But he can’t move around,” Brian said. “He’s always in pain.”

 

“Because he is trapped,” Cloud Dancing stood in the door way.

 

Everyone’s attention turned to him.

 

“But we brought him here because we didn’t have the medicine for his needs,” Andrew reasoned.

 

“My people believe that when a medicine is not working-”

 

“There’s an imbalance,” Michaela looked at him.

 

She remembered all too well Cloud Dancing’s teaching from years ago. The medicine man looked at her and nodded.

 

“What do you suggest we do?” Matthew asked.

 

Cloud Dancing hung his head, knowing his answer would bring fear, especially to Michaela.

 

“Take him home.”

 

He was right, fear did enter Michaela’s heart. If they took him home, off the medicine, if anything were to happen to him and he… she looked at her husband as he slept, he looked so peaceful. So peaceful, she almost wished he’d wake up.

Chapter 17

 

     The family decided to give Michaela and Sully a few moments of privacy as he endured another treatment of medicine. The injections caused Sully great pain and discomfort. The medicine made him feel disoriented, so he’s wife’s calming presence was a great comfort to him.

 

Sully moaned in pain, squeezing tightly to Michaela’s hand. He turned his face from the spot of injection, looking made it hurt worse.

 

“It’s almost over,” Michaela kissed his hand and stroked his forehead. “You’re doing so well.”

 

He looked at her to gain strength; her heart broke as she could see the agony shine through his deep blue eyes.

 

“Just a few more minutes,” the doctor said.

 

Sully continued to squeeze Michaela’s hand, breathing hard through the pain. True to his word, a few minutes passed and the pain subsided. Sully was left breathing hard and sweating.

 

Due to the serious change in his condition, he was having injections in his abdomen three times a week; and each session left his body throbbing and weaker than the last.

 

“You did so well,” Michaela covered him with a blanket.

 

Moaning as his pain continued, Sully turned his face from her.

 

“Doctor,” Michaela turned to him as he collected his things. “Do you suppose he could have a bath?”

 

Dr. Morris paused considering and then nodded.

 

“I can have a tub prepared and send up a nurse.”

 

“Thank you,” she smiled. “But a nurse won’t be necessary, just the tub.”

 

Dr. Morris realized she’d take care of him herself and slightly smiled.

 

“I’ve never seen a more…devoted wife, Mrs. Sully,” he said.

 

For some reason, Michaela didn’t correct as she usually did.

 

“Most women would be sick and nearly weak with worry.”

 

Stroking Sully’s she looked down at him as he was still disoriented.

 

“I’m not worried,” she pressed her lips together. “I’m more afraid than you could possible imagine…but he still needs me.”

 

Dr. Morris couldn’t help but feel his heart warm at the statement.

 

“I’ll a tub sent up right way,” he dipped his head.

 

“Thank you.”

When they were alone, Michaela sat at her husband’s bedside.

 

“Sully,” she said.

 

“Hmm?” He looked at her.

 

“Do you think you could handle taking a bath?”

 

Sully paused with a frown as if he didn’t not understand her.

 

“Bath?” He said after a moment.

 

“That’s right,” Michaela smiled.

 

He seemed to become more aware.

 

“I haven’t…cleaned up in while,” he tried to sit up.

 

Michaela rose to assist him.

 

“I know,” she said. “Would you like to bath or wipe down in bed?”

 

“I guess I could bathe,” he looked downward. “If you’ll…help me.”

 

“Of course I’ll help you,” Michaela touched his chin and offered a graceful smile.

 

She knew this was not only physically challenging for him, but allowing her to assist him in cleaning his body was a blow to his pride. She had to be the gentlest with him. After a tub was prepared, Michaela made sure everything was situated for her husband’s ease and comfort. Sully managed to sit on the side of the bed, although his body ached all over. Ever so gently, Michaela began to unbutton his gown; she could see the embarrassment in his expression.

 

Their eyes met, both filled with so much pain and uncertainty, but also love.

 

“You don’t have to hide from me,” she held his hand that clasped the gown closed.

 

He swallowed hard and hung his hand, allowing her to keep a hold on him.

 

“I’m…I…” he struggled. “I’m not the same,” his voice was nearly inaudible.

Michaela’s heart went out to him.

 

“You’ll always be the same to me,” she brushed his hair behind his ear. “I’ll always see you as beautiful and handsome…”

 

He looked at her, holding onto her words.

 

“I don’t know if I’m ready,” he glanced at the tub.

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

Her love gave him some kind of strength. He had been in that bed for so long and didn’t want to lay back down. Heavily leaning on his wife, Sully managed to stand. He was weak and the pain was nothing he ever felt before.

 

Reaching the tub, Michaela helped him slip off the gown; she sucked in a breath of surprise as the gown slipped off his shoulders. Deep discolored sores covered his upper and lower back.

 

“Sully,” she breathed.

 

His shoulders hunched as he leaned on the tub.

 

“I know,” he hung his head.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She drew closer.

 

He just stared down at the water, in silence.

 

“Do they hurt?” Michaela already knew the answer.

 

A nod was his only response.

 

“Here, let’s get you in the tub. The warm water will help.”

 

With her support, Sully lowered himself into the water, hissing slightly as the water made contact with the sores on his back.

With the gentleness that came natural to her, Michaela lathered a cloth of soap and began to wash her husband’s body. When she came to his sores, she patted the area with a wet clot. He shifted in slight pain, but was able to tolerate it.

 

“I’m sorry,” Michaela said. “Just a little more.”

 

Michaela was able to successfully clean the sores with aggravating them further. Afterwards, she washed his hair and helped him clean the rest of body. Sully felt quite warn out from the process and was thankful when it was through.

 

Grabbing a towel, Michaela helped him rise and climb out of the tub. He moved slowly; afraid he’d slip.

“It’s alright,” Michaela said as he tightly held onto her. “Walk slow.”

 

He made his way to the bed and she laid out a towel for him to sit. Sully made sure to be covered, even though he was in front of Michaela, he still felt a bit embarrassed. She noticed her husband’s shyness, but remained quiet. Coming behind him, Michaela took a warm towel and began to gently dab the bed sores across his back.

 

“Does it hurt bad?” She reached for her medical bag.

“It burns.”

 

Sully felt a strange moisture on his back and turned to wife.

 

“Lavender oil,” she informed. “It will help reduce the inflammation and prevent infection. I’d like to dress it properly so it doesn’t become irritated.”

 

Sully situated himself as Michaela took a fresh garment for him.

 

“Slowly now,” she helped it slip it on.

 

He grimaced slightly as the fabric laid across his body; he felt so sensitive these days. Michaela assisted him to lie back onto the pillows. Painfully, he did so.

 

Sully gripped her hand and brought it to his lips.

 

“Thank you,” he kissed her tenderly.

 

She smiled and leaned close, their faces inches apart. It had been so long since they had a tender moment together.

 

“Michaela,” Sully uttered in a small voice.

 

“Yes,” she sat at his bedside.

 

“I don’t wanna stay here anymore,” he said.

 

Lowering her gaze, Michaela could feel her heart break slightly. She knew how terrible this all was for him, especially being stuck in this room for so long.

 

“Has Cloud Dancing spoken to you?” She wondered.

 

His expression of uncertainty gave her a response.

 

“Sully,” she clasped his hand. “Cloud Dancing thinks we should take you home; and so does Matthew for that matter,” she added.

 

Sully paused in consideration, momentarily before saying, “What do you think?”

 

She blinked away the tears.

 

“I don’t know. Sully, I know how terrible this is for you, but if something happened…if…I couldn’t,” she could not bring herself to go on.

 

“Shh,” Sully touched her shoulder.

 

He hated to see her upset; but he also knew it was time that had a serious conversation.

 

“Michaela,” he slowly began. “If something…if something’s gonna happen it don’t matter if I’m in a hospital or not.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Michaela countered. “The medicine is working; you just need time.”

 

“How much time?” He spoke.

 

“Everyone reacts different to the treatments,” she couldn’t help the physician in her. “You’re more stable than you would have been at the clinic.”

Sully began to shake his head, upsetting Michaela further.

 

“Sully, you can’t just give up because it’s not working in the time you want. There are people who have spent years with illness far worse. You have to be patient.”

 

His gentle expression nearly broke her heart.

 

“I ain’t giving up,” he reached for her hand.

 

With tearful eyes, she looked down at his touch.

 

“But I don’t think…I don’t think I’m getting much help here.”

 

She couldn’t argue with the facts; but the lump in her throat prevented her from speaking.

 

“Truth is, Michalea, I don’t wanna die in this place. I haven’t seen the sun in weeks,” he nearly scoffed. “I haven’t breathed fresh air. I…I feel like…” it was now his turn to fall silent under emotion.

 

Michaela knew this had been building up for a long time.

 

“What?” She stroked his knuckles. “Tell me…”

 

He turned his face her direction and stared into the distance.

 

“I feel like…a prisoner…” he uttered.

 

A silent tear rolled down Michaela’s cheek; if Sully noticed he did not react, but continued to stare out.

“Michaela, I…I seen death before, I’ve almost been killed, beat up, shot, I’ve been in prison and this…this is so much worse,” he looked at her. “When I was hiding in the woods, half dead, I kept telling myself to fight for you and the kids. I kept seeing your faces. When I went to prison, I gave myself no other choice but to see you again; but this…it’s different. I don’t know what it is but…I ain’t never felt this kind of fear. I don’t know what it’s like to…to give up, but I don’t think I have a choice.”

 

At that moment, the door opened and a nurse entered.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but visiting hours are over.”

 

Michaela kept her eyes on Sully as he nodded to the nurse.

 

“Sully,” she mumbled under her breath.

 

“Go on,” he brought her hand to his lips. “It’s getting late.”

 

“I love you,” she wrapped her arms around him.

 

Inhaling the scent of his hair, Michaela wasn’t sure if she could let him go. Sully kiss on her neck made it even harder.

 

“I don’t know how I can leave,” her voice cracked.

 

“Because you know you’ll come back,” he whispered in her ear. “I’ll be here.”

 

Before departing, she kissed his lips and looked back one more time. It was evening and Sully knew that met another round of medicine. He hated to go through it without his wife, but relied on the fact that she’d be with in the morning. This night felt different, heavier than any other, for both he and Michaela.

 

Michaela didn’t sleep when she returned to the hotel. She felt the distance between like never before. A distance that had nothing to do with physical space, a distance that made her heart heavy. A tonight, unlike usual, she couldn’t help but feel his pain in a deeper way that nearly filled her with regret.

 

XXXXX

 

Michaela sat beside the window of the hotel room, a small book in her hands a fire burning. Beneath her breath she read the words, quietly to herself.

 

“Not gold but only men can make a people great and strong; men who for truth and honor's sakestand fast and suffer long. Brave men who work while others sleep, who dare while others fly...They build a nation's pillars deep and lift them to the sky…”

 

A silent tear rolled down her cheek as she held the book to her bosom.

 

“Sam,” she whispered.

 

The soft sound of the door closing was heard and she knew Daniel had entered. She did not turn to him, but continued staring out into the flames. With quiet steps, he approached and knelt at her side.

 

“Michaela,” he spoke softly. “It’s awful late.”

 

Michaela didn’t respond. Daniel knew she wouldn’t move for a while.

 

“Who’s that?” He nodded towards the book.

 

“Emerson,” Michaeal glanced down at the pages.

 

“Sam Emerson?” He questioned.

 

“No,” Michaela smiled. “Ralph Waldo Emerson, he’s a poet…Sam is…was the woman who gave me the book.”

 

Daniel caught her words and sensed her sadness.

 

“I’m sorry,” he touched her hand.

 

“She was one of the most extraordinary women I’ve ever met,” Michaela said. “She was going to climb Pike’s Peak.”

 

“What happened to her?” He gently asked.

 

Michaela fingered at the old pages of the gift in her hands.

 

“She died halfway up the mountain. In her last moments, she gave me this book. I promised I’d make it to the top one day.”

 

“And ya did,” Daniel knew the story.

 

Michaela smiled, somewhat proudly.

 

“How’d she die?”

 

“She had-” Michaela stopped suddenly and bit her lower lip. “Leukemia…”

 

Without a word, Daniel squeezed her hand.

 

“Would you like to hear some?” Michaela opened the book wider.

 

He nodded and as she read a heaviness filled the room…

 

XXXXX

 

After the nurse administered another doze of medicine, Sully was strongly feeling it’s effects. He hated the moments after the medicine entered his system. He always felt out of sorts, his mind felt fuzzy and his body weak. This time his uneasiness was accompanied with pain and the nurse told him to just lie still and sleep it off.

 

Closing the door behind her, she was met with another nurse, who traded charts with her.

 

“I’ve given Mr. Sutton his medicine for the night, I’ll check on him in the morning.”