He Heard My Cry - Chapters 8-16

Quinn's Library by Jasmine L

 

When Sully develops a mysterious illness, the entire family comes to his aid;

not only for his physical wellbeing but his spiritual as well.

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.”

Psalms 116:1

 

“The great art of life is sensation to feel that we exist, even in pain.”

 ~ Lord Byron

Chapter 8

 

     After breakfast, Michaela went to saddle up Flash in the barn, where Sully followed her after a minute.

 

“Getting ready to leave?” He entered.

 

“In just minute,” she replied.

 

As he drew near, Michaela put the reigns aside and approached him.

 

“Sully,” she reached for his arms. “Are you sure you’ll be all right? I can stay home with you.”

Sully smiled at her generosity.

 

“I’m fine, Michaela,” he pulled her into an embrace. “Besides, we can’t just stop living our lives.”

 

“I know, but-” she stepped back to look at him, but stopped when he cupped her face in his strong hands.

 

“Michaela,” his eyes were soft. “If I’m gonna live with this…I gotta live.”

 

Michaela glanced downward and sighed. She knew he was right; but the thought of him enduring any kind of pain, broke her heart. However, if he was going to live with this, she couldn’t just rid him of any discomfort or pain, no matter how badly she wanted to.

 

“Just…promise me you’ll take things easy.”

 

He leaned in and tenderly kissed her lips.

 

“I promise,” he said. “But there is one thing I’d like to do.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

He reached for her hands.

 

“Take you to work.”

 

“Sully,” she sighed.

 

He knew she would reject, but he stopped her before she could go on.

 

“I’d like to…still be your husband, even if I’m not…well,” he didn’t know how else to say it.

 

Michaela’s heart broke and warmed, simultaneously.

 

“Oh, Sully,” she reached for another embrace. “You’ll always be my husband. Nothing’s changed between us.”

 

He held onto her just a little longer; he knew nothing would ever really change between them, but since his diagnosis, his mind was filled with irrational fears; some he was too embarrassed to share with his wife. Although, he couldn’t control what was happening to his body, Sully would do everything in his power, to keep his role as husband and father.

 

Michaela hadn’t thoroughly considered, Sully’s position. That is the mental and emotional affliction he was under; and she realized that him taking to her to work, was not an act of dominance, but a cry for help. He wouldn’t say it so forwardly, but just like always, she could read in between the lines.

 

“If you’re feeling well enough,” she looked at him.

Sully nodded.

 

“I’m all right,” he kissed her hands.

 

XXXXX

 

Sully slowed the wagon down in front of the clinic, where Brian bid his parents goodbye as he went off to school.

 

“I’ll be closing at four,” Michaela touched Sully’s knee.

 

He smiled and clasped her hand.

 

“I’ll be here,” he kissed her cheek.

 

“Michaela, Sully,” a voice was heard.

 

The couple turned to see Dorothy approaching.

 

“Good morning, Dorothy,” Michaela greeted.

 

“Good morning,” the older woman replied. “Sully, how are you?”

“I’m doing fine,” he smiled.

 

“The town’s been worried about ya.”

 

Sully felt somewhat uncomfortable; he didn’t want anyone to know about his condition yet.

 

“Is there anything we can do for you?”

 

“Oh, no, thank you,” he replied. “I’m…doing just fine.”

 

Dorothy had that sense again, that same feeling she had when she was at the homestead. Like they didn’t want to talk. Again, she respected their boundaries and politely excused herself.

 

“Michaela, would you like to have lunch together?” She inquired before going her own way.

 

“That would be nice, how’s noon?”

 

“See ya then,” Dorothy smiled.

As Dorothy went to the Gazette, Michaela turned her attention back to Sully.

 

“Now remember,” she said. “Take it easy, today.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Sully teased and kissed her again. “I’m gonna go talk to Preston,” he said.

 

“About what?” Michaela turned.

 

“Gotta tell him I won’t be finishing his homestead.”

 

Michaela sighed and clasped his hand.

 

“Don’t worry,” he kissed her hand. “Everything’s gonna be all right.”

 

After biding his wife goodbye, Sully went his own way. Not long after Michaela was settled into the clinic, Preston entered.

 

“Preston,” Michaela stood near the examination table. “Can I help you?”

 

“Well, I see that your husband drove you into town this morning,” he was short-spoken.

 

Michaela was taken aback by his words.

 

“I don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” her tone revealed irritation.

 

“Well, you see it is my business, considering he’s left my homestead half completed for the second time, without word; and he comes into town as if I am oblivious.”

 

“Preston,” Michaela sighed. “If you would have waited instead of barging in here, you would have seen Sully.”

 

A frown grew on Preston’s face.

 

“He was on his way to meet you,” she went on.

“Meet me?”

 

“Preston, after the accident at your homestead, Sully won’t be able to finish the building.”

 

“Why on earth not?”

 

Michaela knew Sully wouldn’t want Preston of all people to know, but she had to come up with something convincing enough that he would back off.

 

“Something’s unexpected has come up and he won’t be able to complete the process,” she tried her best.

 

“This is ridiculous,” Preston scoffed. “As long as he knows, I won’t be paying him for the work he’s done.”

 

“I’ll tell him,” Michaela began to clean her medical instruments.

 

With a sigh of annoyance, Preston departed from the clinic; leaving Michaela alone and worried. After cleaning the instrument, she began to pour over her medical books to find some way to help her husband. She did her best to keep her mind from wandering, keep her fears from getting the better of her. She wondered how Sully was doing and kept telling herself he was all right; but as long as they were apart, she felt she could never be certain.

 

XXXXX

 

Children poured from the schoolhouse as the recess bell rang. Some were met by parents, friends, and siblings; Brian had anticipated to walk home alone, so he was surprised when a familiar voice called his name.

 

“Brian,” Sully stood some distance off.

 

“Sully?” The boy ran up. “What are you doing here?

 

“School’s over, ain’t it?”

 

“Sure, it is,” Brian replied.

 

“You got a lot of homework?”

 

Brian shook his head.

 

“Just gotta study for a history test on Monday.”

 

“What do you say, you and me go fishing?”

“Now?” Brian was surprised.

 

“Well, ya got two days to study, don’t ya?”

 

“Well…yeah,” Brian said. “But what about my chores?”

 

Sully shrugged.

 

“One day ain’t gonna hurt, come on.”

 

Brian looked unsure; his expression hurt Sully, but it was understandable.

 

“It’s all right, Brian,” Sully put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

 

“You sure?” Brian didn’t know how else to ask.

 

Sully nodded.

 

“Why don’t we talk about things?” He said.

 

They sat at the familiar pond where many conversations and memories were held. Sully had first taken Brian to this place when he was boy; he had grown up here, with Sully and their discussions.

 

“What’s on your mind, Brian?” Sully asked after a moment.

 

The boy felt different this time talking to his father, like there was some kind of distance between them. He knew there really wasn’t, but after all that happened, it felt like something changed, like Sully changed. So, his only response was a shrug of his shoulders.

 

Sully hadn’t expected him to open up at first and he pretty much already knew what Brian was thinking and feeling. However, he wanted him to express his feelings, to get a better understanding.

 

“It’s all right if you don’t wanna talk about it,” he said. “But if you do, I’m here to listen.”

 

Brian looked downward. This was going to be harder than Sully thought.

 

A moment of silence passed before Sully spoke again, “Brian, I guess there’s something I ought to tell ya.”

 

Brian looked at him.

 

“What’s that?” His brow furrowed.

 

“I uh…” Sully twisted the fishing pole in his hands. “I overheard you and your Ma talking the other night about…” his voice trailed off.

 

Brian pressed his lips together, he seemed to feel bad.

 

“I’m sorry, Pa,” he said.

 

Sully, placing his fishing pole aside, leaned back on his elbows, giving his full attention to his son.

 

“For what?”

 

“I didn’t tell ya because I don’t wanna worry ya. You got so much to deal with and I don’t wanna...bother ya.”

 

“Brian,” Sully tisked.

 

“I know you’re gonna say I don’t bother ya, but…” he stopped and looked away from Sully.

 

Sully drew in a deep breath. With everything going on he hadn’t paused to consider how the circumstances were affecting his children. The realization of their inner turmoil felt like a knife in his heart.

 

“Ya know, Brian,” he sat up straight. “I’m still trying to understand all this myself. I know I’m sick and all but this really ain’t just happening to me.”

 

Brian looked at him with uncertainty.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, I might be sick, but this is gonna…is affecting all of us. And I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me.”

 

Brian knew Sully truly meant those words, but he was still hesitant, Sully could see it in his eyes.

 

“This morning, I was talking to your Ma,” Sully went on. “About takin’ her to work. She wanted to stay home me.”

 

“But you did take her to work,” Brian was confused.

 

“You know what I told her?” The older man looked at him.

 

Brian shook his head.

 

“I told her that if I’m gonna live with this…I gotta live.”

 

He wondered if Brian fully comprehended his meaning so he continued, “Brian, bad things happen, but we can’t just stop living life cause it’s not the way we planned. We can’t just deal with things, we gotta live with them. I can’t live around this cancer…and neither can you.”

 

Brian pondered on his father’s words momentarily before responding, “So it’s all right if I’m… afraid.”

 

Sully nodded, slowly.

 

“So am I,” he said.

 

“But I don’t know how to help ya,” the boy went on.

“You just being here helps me,” Sully replied. “Knowing that I ain’t alone. Having you, your siblings, your Ma, my brothers, that more than I could ever ask for.”

 

Brian looked out towards the waters, no longer was he focused on catching fish. The far off look in his eyes did not go unnoticed by Sully. Without a word, he put an arm around the boy’s shoulder.

 

After a moment, Brian sank into his arms. It was such a familiar embrace; Sully’s strong arms were the safest place he’d ever know. Brian couldn’t understand how something so secure, could not be wholesome; but truly no matter what state Sully was in, his hold was the most wholesome things Brian ever felt.

Chapter 9

 

     That evening Sully had excused himself from the dinner table and retired early, an action the rest of the family was growing accustom to. Sully’s disposition seemed to be slowing down and as everyone did their best to support him, they couldn’t help but feel that they were just watching him waste away.

 

“Michaela,” Andrew’s voice broke the heavy silence.

 

“Yes?” She turned her attention from her plate to her son-in-law.

 

“I hope you don’t mind but I reached out to some well-known physicians, inquiring for the latest medical research about Sully’s condition.”

 

Michaela raised a brow in slight surprise.

 

“Anonymously,” the younger doctor added.

 

“Did you receive a reply?” Michaela inquired.

 

Reaching into his vest pocket, Andrew pulled out a telegram and handed it over to her.

 

Silently, Michaela read its contents.

 

“What’s it say?” Matthew who was seated beside her asked.

 

“There is still a lot we don’t know about leukemia,” Michaela read. “But new discoveries have been made which use arsenic salts?” She looked at Andrew.

 

“He sent me the documents proving the research and others,” Andrew said.

 

“I’d like to read that,” she said.

 

“Do you think this is something that could help Sully?” Colleen inquired.

 

“I’m not sure,” Michaela replied.  “I’ll have to read the case studies. Cloud Dancing has also been showing herbal remedies that may be effective.”

 

The silent question, but what if it’s not, went through everyone’s mind; but they were each too fearful to verbalize it.

 

Michaela sighed and began to rise from the table.

 

“Thank you, Andrew,” she smiled. “I’m going to join Sully now.”

As Michaela opened the bedroom door, there was a small fire burning. Sully sat in the rocking chair with a blanket laid across his lap.

 

Michaela felt a pain in her heart as she watched him. He seemed so tired and weak.

 

“Sully,” she drew near.

 

The glowing embers shone in his deep blue eyes and he blinked as if awakening from sleep. Without a word, he reached for her hand and she knelt at his side. Michaela couldn’t help but notice that his hands were cold to the touch.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Even though he remained quiet, his silence was a loud enough response for Michaela.

 

“Why don’t you come to bed?”

 

He looked at her for a moment and then down at their hands. Stroking her fingers across his knuckles, Michaela could feel a distant within him that deeply concerned her.

 

“What is it?” She inquired after a moment.

 

Sully rocked slightly and sighed.

 

“I don’t feel well,” his voice was lower than a whisper.

 

Michaela’s heart went out to him.

 

“What’s wrong?” She touched his cheek.

 

“I’m hurting,” he gazed in her eyes.

 

His expression nearly broke her.

 

“Michaela,” he held her hand closer. “I…I’m getting worse.”

 

“Oh Sully,” she pulled him into an embrace.

 

Sully closed his eyes as he rested his head on her shoulder. He tried his best to conceal, rather control his pain over the last few days, but truth was, he couldn’t.

 

“Would you like to lie down?” Michaela after a moment.

 

A nod was his only response. Lifting the blanket from his lap, Sully slowly rose to feet. His steps were slow and heavy as he leaned on his wife.

 

Although he did struggle to lift his legs, his heart broke as Michaela put her hands beneath him to help him lie down. He wasn’t ready for things to be this bad, just yet.

 

“I’ll be right back,” she touched his cheek. “Will you be alright?”

 

 Again, he nodded before closing his eyes. Laying in the dark, quiet room Sully began to feel worse as Michaela went downstairs, not only physically, but emotionally. He hated having Michaela help in such ways, simply lying down.

 

They had been married for five years, which felt so much longer, and Sully wasn’t ready to be so dependent on his wife. Of course, he was grateful for her help and knew she not only gave without thought, but wouldn’t allow anyone else to assist him. Yet, something didn’t sit right with him. He wasn’t prideful, but he had his dignity and with the way he was feeling, Sully couldn’t help but wonder how much longer he could hold on to even that. He was doing his best not to let on, but his condition of growing worse.

 

His mind went back to just a few weeks ago, when he first began experiencing symptoms. He wondered if there was something he could’ve done to prevent or did he do something to deserve this. It seemed this illness was taking a toll of his emotions, especially; though he tried his hardest to remain strong, for Michaela and the children.

 

However, now that he was alone, in the silence and darkness of the atmosphere, his feelings were becoming ever more profound. Sully had experienced much pain in his life, physical, emotional; he had been shot, beat up, even paralyzed, but nothing felt quite as immobilizing as this. He couldn’t refrain from the fear that over took his heart. He didn’t have cancer; cancer had him.

 

XXXXX

 

  Michaela returned with a steaming cup of tea, a remedy she learned from Cloud Dancing. Weakly, Sully accepted and drank a generous amount.

 

“How are you feeling?” Michaela inquired after a few moments.

 

“All right,” he replied in a low voice.

 

“Are you still having pain?” She reached out to feel his pulse.

 

“Some,” Sully placed the mug on the nightstand beside their bed.

 

“Sully,” she clasped his hand. “There’s something I want to talk to you about, if you’re feeling up to it.”

 

He settled back on the pillows, still sitting up and nodded.

 

“Andrew reached out to some physicians in Denver about your condition.”

 

Sully blinked in surprise.

 

“There is new research being done about your condition and these doctors seem confident in the treatment.”

“What do you think?” Sully inquired.

 

“Well, I have to read the case studies, but Andrew said they have proven studies that use arsenic salts as a treatment.”

Sully nodded, slowly taking in her words.

 

“Like I said I still have to read the case studies and do some research,” Michaela added.

 

“Whatever you think is best,” he replied.

 

Michaela couldn’t help but feel a strong responsibility at his words. He trusted her so much that she felt she had to find the right treatment.

 

“Why don’t you get some rest?” She perceived he was growing tired.

 

Sully laid back onto the pillow and after changing into her nightgown, Michaela joined him under the warm covers.

 

She scooped him into her arms and Sully could feel the tightness in his chest fade at her embrace. It wasn’t long before sleep overtook Sully and Michaela felt relieved. She combed her fingers through the thick hair that framed his face and gazed at him, lovingly.

 

He looked so peaceful and beautiful. She couldn’t understand how this could be happening to him. So much uncertainty was before them. There was so much out of her control, so much she couldn’t do for her husband; but she couldn’t just watch him fade away.

 

A sudden, strong sense came over her, one she had never felt before. It was stronger than fear and more certain than her anxiety. In that moment all she could do was pray and hold Sully close to her. She prayed for his healing. Michaela, although relied on science for much of her life, was a praying woman and believed in the presence of God. Yet, suddenly, she felt as if she had never truly believed and she needed to, for her husband’s sake.

Chapter 10

 

     After Michaela had reviewed the case studies and done her own research, Sully’s treatments had begun. He remained at home through it, still wanting privacy from the town. Although, Michaela wondered just how much longer they could go on without the town discovering their news. The children made the effort to be home for Sully’s first treatment; as did Cloud Dancing and Daniel. Sully insisted that it was unnecessary, but inside was extremely grateful for their presence.

 

 Michaela prepared their bedroom to be a comfortable as she could. A small fire burned to keep the Autumn chill out. Once everything was settled, she sat at her husband’s bedside.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

His eyes expressed the nervousness he felt, but he trusted his wife and gave a nod.

 

He did his best to relax back onto the pillows and was comforted by Daniel, who reached out for his hand. Sully looked at him and smiled slightly.

 

Michaela began to roll up his sleeve and prepare his arm for the injection.

“Just lie still,” she gently instructed.

 

Closing his eyes, Sully completely entrusted himself to her care. The sting of the needle made him groan slightly. He turned his face from the direction of the pain.

 

“It’s almost over,” Daniel rubbed his other arm.

 

The pain only lasted for a few more minutes and his arm only throbbed slightly when the injection was out.

 

“You may feel fatigued and a bit of nausea,” Michaela brushed the hair from his face. “Just rest.”

 

Sully nodded.

 

“Thank you,” he said in a low voice.

 

Sully was a bit surprised at how quickly fatigue overtook him. Within minutes, his eyes were closed and he had fallen asleep.

 

“Thank you for being here,” Michaela turned to the children.

 

“Nothing to thank us for,” Matthew said.

 

“Do you think this is gonna work?” Brian inquired.

 

“I hope so,” Michaela replied. “Come on, let’s let him rest.”

 

She looked at Daniel.

 

“I’ll sit with him for a while,” he said.

 

Michaela smiled in thanks.

 

Sitting alone with his brother, Daniel pulled a blanket over him. Sully stirred slightly.

 

“Shh,” Daniel sat back down. “You’re all right,” he said as Sully looked about the room.

 

“Where’s Michaela?” He inquired.

 

“She went downstair with the kids,” he informed. “Want me to get her?”

 

Sully shook his head.

 

“How ya feeling?” Daniel touched his arm.

 

There was a pause before his response.

 

“Not so good,” he admitted.

 

It hurt Daniel to hear and see his brother’s pain, knowing there was nothing he could do about it.

 

“You need to rest,” he said.

 

“How’s Michaela?” Sully asked.

 

“She’s doing all right,” Daniel nodded, slowly.

 

“I’m worried about her.”

 

“Why?” Daniel’s brow furrowed.

 

“I know she’s tryin’ to be strong for me and the kids,” Sully looked downward. “But she’s scared.”

 

“So are you,” Daniel knew.

 

Sully glanced at him momentarily and looked away.

 

“Daniel,” he said.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Can I…ask you…a favor?”

 

It took Sully a moment to gather his thoughts.

 

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen,” he began. “If…I’m gonna make it.”

 

“Sully,” Daniel tisked.

 

Sully raised hand.

 

“Please just… would you…look after Michaela and the children, if I…” he fell silent.

 

Daniel sighed and lowered his head. Sully knew it was painful thing to ask, but he had to make sure his family was looked after.

 

Again, Daniel took his hand in his.

 

“I promise,” their eyes met.

 

Sully gave a quiet sigh of relief.

 

“You get some rest,” Daniel said.

 

He closed his eyes and fell asleep fairly quickly and Daniel remained at his brother’s side as he slept.

 

XXXXX

 

  When Sully awoke, he was feeling worse. Daniel was gone and the room was dark and quiet. Sitting up, he perceived moisture to be soaking the sheets. Quickly he realized he was drenched in perspiration. Feeling a sensation drip down his face, he realized his nose was bleeding again. With weak steps, he made his way to the basin to clean up. His tiredness had increased in a way he never felt before; it was beyond exhaustion and his entire body felt tender and achy. 

 

His nose continued to bleed for quite a while, until finally it seized. When it did, Sully’s pain had escalated. He knew he should probably change the sheets before lying back down, but he couldn’t muster the strength.

 

At that moment, the door opened and Michaela entered.

 

“Sully,” she rushed to his side.

 

She noticed the water in the basin discolored from his blood.

 

“Are you alright?” She brushed the hair from his face.

 

He nodded, wiping his nose with a towel. Michaela reached out a hand and touched his forehead.

 

“You’re burning up,” she said. “Come on, let’s get you back in bed.”

 

Sully leaned on his wife quite heavily and his weight hurt Michaela’s heart more than her shoulder. Without a word, she noticed how soaked the blankets were and went to change them.

 

She returned to his side with a fresh blanket, a basin of cold water and a cloth to cool him off.

 

Soaking the cloth in cold water, Michaela laid it across his forehead.

 

“I’m…cold,” his breathing was slightly hitched.

 

“I know, sweetheart,” her fingers caressed his beard. “But we need to bring your fever down. I think it’s time for another injection.”

 

A nod was his only response.

 

After preparing the medicine, Michaela returned to her husband’s side. The expression on his face revealed his increase in pain. She noticed he was holding his side and moved about quickly to administer the medicine.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

Sully nodded and looked away. The needle seemed to hurt more than before and he wondered if was his fear or physical weakness.

 

“This should make you feel better,” she said after it was over.

 

Sitting beside him, Michaela scooped her husband into her arms, his head on her lap.

Running her fingers through his hair, she made her way down to his neck and shoulders. Sully usually had tension in his muscles, from the constant and heavy work he did; but this time he seemed much stiffer. He moaned and shifted from time to time, but ultimately found realization in his wife’s touch.

 

Thankfully, Sully rested throughout the night. Michaela stayed with him and eventually dosed off as well. Not before silently praying and pleading for her husband.

 

XXXXX

 

Colleen and Andrew continued to watch over the clinic in Michaela’s absence. Michaela only came in a couple of days a week and only for a few hours. Sully had continued to insist that she should go to work, but she was too anxious when apart from him/

 

This day was like many others and she stayed home with him and Katie, while the children went out to work. Sully didn’t like having the children go out and work when he was stuck at home, but his present condition was limiting him and he knew he was blessed to have such a generous family.

 

“Colleen,” Andrew caught his on the stairs. “I received a response from a doctor in Denver.”

 

“About Pa?” She rushed down.

 

“They have new treatments at the hospital,” he said.

 

“Hospital,” she frowned.

 

He nodded with a sigh.

 

“I don’t know if Ma would want to take Sully to a hospital,” she said.

 

“Well, maybe he doesn’t have to stay there,” Andrew thought. “We’ll talk about it later,” he touched her arm.

 

Andrew noticed a saddened expression rise in his wife’s eyes and he drew near.

 

“Colleen,” his brow furrowed. “What is it?”

 

“Nothing, I just…” she lowered her head.

 

“Hey,” Andrew touched her chin. “Tell me.”

 

“It’s just…for this to be happening to Sully of all people. I mean…he’s never been sick and…” her voice cracked with emotion.

 

Andrew put an arm her in comfort.

 

“Everything’s gonna be all right,” he said.

 

“But what if it’s not,” she looked up. “I don’t know what would happen if something happened to Pa.”

 

Andrew pulled her into an embrace.

 

“Don’t worry, Sully’s strong. The cancer is still at an early stage. He’s gonna beat this.”

 

At that moment, they heard the clinic door shut. Stepping out they found Loren standing with a box in his hand.

 

“Mr. Bray,” Colleen greeted.

 

“I just come to drop off these supplies for Dr. Mike,” the storekeeper said.

 

“I can take that,” Andrew stepped forward. “Thanks, Loren. What do we owe you?’

 

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Tell Dr. Mike it’s no trouble.”

 

Quickly the old man departed, leaving Colleen and Andrew slightly confused by his demeanor; not realizing or considering that he overheard them.

 

XXXXX

 

  Michaela rose to open the front door as a gentle knock was heard.

 

“Dorothy,” she was a bit surprised to see her friend. “What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?”

 

“Hello Michaela,” the older woman smiled warmly. “I brought you all some stew.”

 

“Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“Well, it’s been a while since you’ve been in town and I…that is…I…” she paused.

 

“Is everything all right?”

 

“Michaela, we all heard,” she said. “The town…about Sully.”

 

“Oh no,” the doctor said under her breath.

 

“Having gone through the same thing…I thought maybe…I could help.”

 

Michaela paused considering the suggestion.

 

It was a kind thing for Dorothy to do. She knew Sully would be upset about the whole town knowing, but perhaps Dorothy could help.

 

“He’s in the barn,” Michaela said.

 

“Thank you, Michaela,” Dorothy held her friend’s and then turned to descend the stairs.

 

Sully stood in barn beside his horse, brushing the animal down with slow, gentle strokes. Gentle because that was Sully’s natural touch, slow because it pained him to move any faster.

He hadn’t heard anyone come in.

 

“Sully,” Dorothy cleared her throat.

 

He turned, somewhat startled by the unexpected voice.

 

“Ms. Dorothy,” he frowned.

 

“I brought you all some stew,” she said.

 

“Oh,” Sully blinked in confusion. “Well, thank you.”

 

“I thought I’d give Michaela a break from cooking, seeing as she hasn’t been in town for a while.”

 

“Thank you. She’s in the house if you wanna see her.”

 

“Well, actually I already saw Michaela. I came here to talk to you.”

 

He turned to her slowly.

 

She approached shyly.

 

“Well…everyone in town has been asking about you and Michaela, worried and wondering where you’ve been.”

 

Michaela, not me, Sully thought to himself.

 

“We’ve been just fine, thanks,” he said.

 

With that response, Dorothy didn’t know how to proceed. Sully noticed her uneasiness.

 

“Something I can help ya with?’

 

“Oh well, I’m not exactly sure how to start.”

 

Sully remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

 

“To tell you the truth, Sully…the town heard about you.”

 

He stared at her for a moment and then turned his attention back to his horse.

 

“Oh,” he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Oh, Sully I’m so sorry,” Dorothy took a step forward.

 

A nod was his only response.

 

Dorothy could tell he didn’t want to discuss not hear about the matter further.

 

“Is there anything we can do?”

 

“No,” his voice was lower than a whisper. “Thank you.”

 

“Sully, I didn’t mean to disturb you. It’s just we all want you to know that…we’re here. And having gone through the same thing. I hope you know, you have the town’s support.”

 

“That you or the town talking?” Sully said.

 

Dorothy didn’t respond.

 

With a slump of his shoulders and a sigh, Sully turned to her.

 

“I appreciate you coming out here, Dorothy. But I don’t see how after all this time the town would wanna help now.”

 

“But Sully, we care-”

 

He raised a hand.

 

“The town doesn’t care. If you’re speaking for yourself, then thank you.”

 

Dorothy didn’t know what to say. Over the last year, the town hadn’t exactly treated Sully the fairest.

 

Sully had been in Colorado Springs for a long time, long before Michaela’s arrival. Almost everybody knew him, but now that Dorothy thought about it, they didn’t know him well.

 

“Thank you for coming out here, Ms. Dorothy,” he turned his back, continuing to tend to his horse.

 

Without a word, Dorothy departed from the barn. Sully waited until he heard her ride off, before he exhaled loudly and seized brushing the animal. Leaning back on the wall, he clutched his side where the pain was the worse.

 

He was uncertain if he’d be able to make it back inside on his own.

 

“Pa,” Brian rode into the barn. “Are you alright?” He noticed his father.

 

“Yeah,” his voice was strained.

 

“You in pain?” He descended his horse.

All Sully could do was nod.

 

“I’ll help ya,” Brian approached.

 

“No…” Sully held his breath. “I’m alright.”

 

“Pa,” Brian knew better. “You should come inside.”

 

Sully knew he wouldn’t be able to conceal his pain any further. Without further rejection, he nodded and allowed Brian to assist him.

 

Seeing her son and husband from the window, Michaela rushed to open the front door.

 

“Sully, what’s wrong?” She drew near.

 

“Nothing,” Sully fought to keep his strength. “Just a little pain, is all.”

 

Michaela noticed him clutching his side.

“Come on,” she put her arm around him.

 

Sully couldn’t help the loud groan that escaped as he climbed the steps.

 

Brian looked to his mother, worriedly.

 

“That’s it,” Michaela encouraged.

 

Drawing near the couch, Michaela assisted her husband in sitting.

“I’m alright,” he said.

 

“When did the pain start?” Michaela held his hand.

 

“I’m alright,” Sully insisted.

 

“Sully, please,” Michaela said.

 

He sighed, knowing he couldn’t go on without her help.

 

“Just a second ago,” he said.

 

“Is it just your side?”

 

He nodded.

“I’ll brew you some tea, that should ease the pain,” she said.

 

Michaela went to rise, but stopped when she felt Sully clasp her hand.

 

“Sorry,” he said in a low voice.

 

“Sweetheart,” she brought his hand to her lips. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Just rest now.”

 

As she went about brewing the tea, Brian helped her. Sully sat in silence, trying to rest; but he hated pulling his family away to tend to him. He hated just sitting there, resting; but he knew he wouldn’t be able to go on without their help; and he wondered how much longer he could go on despite their help. 

Chapter 11

 

     It was nearing the end of Autumn and the cold was beginning to close in. The town was beginning to prepare for its annual Sweethearts Dance; an occasion everyone was looking forward too. Usually Dr. Mike anticipated the celebration, but this year, with Sully’s illness there was no time for dancing. Sully however wasn’t about to let himself succumb to such a loss. Unbeknownst to his wife, he had something special planned and cheerfully waited for her entrance into their bedroom.

 

  Michaela had somewhat of a difficult time putting Katie down. Although the baby was a bit older now, she still struggled with falling asleep from time to time. Otherwise, it was an ease to care for her. With a slow turn of the doorknob and quiet steps, Michaela entered the room. As of late, Sully was sleeping before her and she didn’t want to disturb him. She was surprised this evening when she stepped in.

 

  A roaring fire illuminated the room; Sully sat proudly in the rocking chair and had a content smile on his face. Michaela was confused as she closed the door behind her. Before she could utter a word, she caught sight of a decorative box in the middle of their bed and a vase full of roses.

 

“What’s this?” Her brow furrowed slightly.

 

Sully shrugged, unknowingly.

 

“It’s cold outside,” he said. “I thought a fire would be nice ‘fore bed.”

 

“Oh, and these roses?” She pressed her lips together.

 

Mindlessly, he rocked back and forth.

 

“Smells nice,” came the reply.

 

“Is that all?” Her eyes motioned the box.

 

Sully pushed himself from the chair.

 

“Oh, that,” he pretended to notice. “It’s nothing really,” he said.

 

“If it’s nothing, why is it wrapped so nicely?”

 

“Well, you can thank Colleen for that,” he leaned on the bed post.

 

“And who is thing nothing for?” Michaela played along.

 

“I don’t know,” Sully said. “But there’s a name on it,” he pointed.

 

Glancing down, a smile crossed her face as she read her own name. Sully motioned that she continues to open it.

 

Michaela couldn’t help but feel a little excited as she gently tore apart the wrapping. Lifting the lid of the box, she let out a breath of surprise.

 

“Oh, Sully,” she held up a beautiful silk and lace gown.

 

Sully smiled, taking a seat on the bed.

 

“You like it?”

 

“It’s beautiful, Sully,” she was still surprised. “But…why?”

 

“Well,” his hand reached for her waist and he slowly drew her close. “I thought it would look nice on ya. Especially on a moonlit night, with your hair done real nice, you’d be so beautiful, the way ya always are when we dance.”

 

“Dance?” She looked down at him in uncertainty.

 

Sully nodded, innocently; there was a shine in his eyes from the blazing flames.

 

“Sweetheart’s Dance is Saturday, isn’t it.”

 

Michaela didn’t expect that. Well of course she knew the dance was Saturday, but she hadn’t considered her and Sully would attend.

 

“Sully,” she tried to pull back but his hold wouldn’t allow her.

 

“What?” He sensed her uneasiness. “Don’t ya wanna go with me?”

 

“Of course I do,” she said. “I just…didn’t assume we’d be attending.”

He frowned in confusion.

 

“Sully,” Michaela sighed and took a step back; his hand drifted from her waist.

 

With a sigh, she laid the dress across the bed.

 

“I appreciate this gift, it’s absolutely…beautiful, but…I don’t think…going to a dance is the…wisest choice, right now,” she chose her words carefully.

 

Sully didn’t quite understand her meaning.

 

“Why not?” He inquired.

 

Again, she sighed. She looked at him and Sully understood.

 

“Oh,” he lowered his head. “I see.”

 

“Sully, please I don’t mean to-”

 

“No,” he raised a hand. “I understand. I just thought…” he fell silent.

 

Rising to his feet, Sully reached for the dress and began to fold it back into the box.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Sully,” she clasped his hand.

 

He sighed and ceased his movements. 

 

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” her voice was gentle.

 

Sully nodded, but kept his gaze downward. Michaela could tell more was bothering him than just the dance.

 

She sat down and guided him beside her.

“What is it?” She continued to hold his hand.

 

“I don’t know,” his voice was lower than a whisper.

 

Michaela remained quiet, waiting for him to open up.

 

“I just…I’m…I’ m not ready for…”

 

His voice was barely audible, but Michaela intently listened to every word.  When he didn’t go on, she gentle inquired.

 

“For what?”

He looked down at their hands and stroked the soft skin across her knuckles.

 

“To be this…sick. Michaela, I…I never felt anything like this.”

 

He turned his attention to her and Michaela’s heart all but broke as his eyes shone with unfallen tears.

 

“I’ve been through a lot in my life but I’ve never really been…” he swallowed hard.

 

Blinking a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Afraid,” he said.

 

Pulling him into an embrace, Michaela never felt Sully rest in her arms like this before. He seemed like a child, not childish, but a delicate little boy.

 

“Oh, Sully,” she allowed herself to become emotional as well.

 

She rubbed his back and stroked his hair.

 

This was the first time since his diagnosis that Sully cried. Not hard, but Michaela could feel his pain. Sully tried to remain positive and strong, but he couldn’t hold back his feelings anymore.

 

Michaela slightly shifted and he tightened his hold, not wanting to part from her embrace.

 

“I’m here,” she sensed his fear.

 

Sully couldn’t bear to say a word. Michaela wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or just overwhelmed. Either way, all she knew was Sully needed her and she needed him. Only a few times in their relationship had Sully ever displayed intense emotions. He was a steady rock, Michaela always relied on; and the times he shared his fears or tears, she felt an intense responsibility to support him. Now more than ever.

 

He didn’t weep, but softly cried, his face tucked in the side of her neck.

 

After a while, his shoulders dropped and he rested in her arms. He felt tired, emotionally and physically. They held one another’s hands, no words seemed to be needed. Her presence, fingers running through his hair and occasion kiss was enough for Sully.

 

XXXXX

 

  The following morning, Sully awoke much later than the rest of the family. He wasn’t sure if it was due to his illness or his emotional state the previous night, but he was feeling severe fatigue and weakness. Although, he didn’t want to succumb to the feelings. For a while, he laid in bed, his mind wandering; when it reached a dark place, Sully decided to get up and turn off the thoughts; he needed to get moving or else he’d make no progress.

  The sound of his children’s voices was heard as he descended the stairs; it brought a joy to his heart, to hear them laugh and converse amongst themselves.

 

“Morning, Pa,” Brian greeted in a cheerful tone.

 

The room’s attention shifted to Sully and he offered a slight smile to his children. Michaela rose from her spot, from feeding Katie to greet her husband with a kiss and gentle embrace.

 

“How are you?” She brushed his hair back.

 

Sully nodded slowly, reaching his hands to her waist and pulling her in for another small kiss.

 

“All right,” his voice was low.

 

“Would you like some breakfast?” Colleen offered, drying her hands from washing dishes.

 

“Sure, thank you,” Sully smiled.

 

Still standing near the staircase, Sully wasn’t sure how long the time went on, but it felt for a while. He could hear a far-off mumbling, but was unable to fully comprehend the words. He wasn’t sure if it was real or all in his head, but suddenly his surroundings slowed down and hue of darkness engulfed him.

 

Michaela’s voice, or shout, echoed as a sharp pain struck the back of his head. He could only see dark forms hovering over him before total blackness took over.

 

XXXXX

 

A dull pain shot through his eyes, causing him to wake up. He felt warmth around him, comfortable, but a bit unfamiliar. Slowly opening his eyes, Sully blinked away the blurriness and tried lifting his head, a painful motion.

 

“Don’t try to move,” Michaela’s voice drew near.

 

He felt her gentle touch at his side and looked at her, perplexed.

 

“Mi…Michaela?” He laid his head back.

 

“I’m here,” she touched his cheek. “How are you feeling?”

 

Sully drew in a deep breath.

 

“What happened?” He questioned.

 

Michaela took hold of his hand and sat at his bedside.

 

“You passed out, Sully,” she informed and a worried expression grew across his face. “When you fell, you struck your head on the stairs.”

 

Sully blinked; that was the pulsing pain on the back of his head.

 

“I’m afraid you have a few stitches back there,” she touched his hair. “You should fully recover though.”

“How…how come I passed out?” He asked.

 

Michaela sighed; Sully recognized that breath all too well. It was the worried, hurtful sigh she did before revealing troubling news. He could feel his chest tighten with anxiety, but remained silent, bracing himself for the words.

 

“Sully,” she drew his hand closer. “I’m afraid your conditions become worse,” Michaela began. “The leukemia has caused you to have a condition called anemia. That is when the body’s red blood cells lessen.”

 

“That’s why I passed out?” Sully frowned.

 

Michaela nodded.

 

“The red blood cells carry oxygen through the body. When the lessen, the body losses iron and oxygen.”

 

“What’s gonna happen?”

 

Michaela pressed her lips together. She had been talking downstairs with Andrew about that very thing and didn’t like the solution in which they met.

 

“Sully,” her voice was low and gentle. “Andrew has been doing some research and it seems there is a specialist, who deals with the specific type of cancer you have. He has years of experience.”

 

Sully paused momentarily, taking in her words; he began to realize.

 

“You’re not…taking care of me?” He looked with uncertainty.

 

Michaela’s heart all but broke.

 

“Of course I am sweetheart,” she said. “I just want you to receive the best care possible.”

 

“I thought that was you,” he held her hand close.

 

“Sully,” Michaela glanced downward. “I don’t have all the proper equipment the hospital does.”

 

“Hospital,” he looked at her. “What do you mean hospital?”

 

Michaela sighed, “There’s a hospital in Denver that-”

 

“Denver?” He repeated. “Wh…” he stopped and she could see the pain in his eyes.

 

“Sully,” she spoke.

 

“Hospital,” he didn’t acknowledge her.

 

Michaela spoke his name, trying to grab his attention, but he just looked at her with a fearful expression.

 

“You don’t wanna…take care of me?”

 

“Oh, Sully,” tears filled her eyes. “Of course, I wanna to take care of you,” she pulled him into an embrace. “But nothing I have is…working,” she cried.

 

“I don’t wanna go to a hospital,” his voice cracked with emotion.

 

Michaela could feel his body tense up. She knew he was trying not to cry.

“What did I do wrong?” Sully buried his face in her hair. “What did I do to…deserve this?”

 

He let a few tears escape and Michaela insisted on telling him he did nothing wrong, things couldn’t be helped and she loved him. They both couldn’t help but cry as it felt time was closing in on them. Yet, they were unaware of the presence just outside the door. Brian stood there, listening to and crying with his parents.

 

The boy asked himself the same question, what did Sully do to deserve this?

Chapter 12

 

     “I don’t think they want any visitors,” Dorothy wrapped her shawl around her shoulders.“Well, they can’t expect to drop news like that and keep quiet,” Jake replied.

 

“They didn’t,” Dorothy countered. “Loren overheard,” she looked to the store keeper.

 

“How long you suppose until they show their faces in town?” Jake went on.

“They have a right to their privacy,” Dorothy said. “Perhaps I’ll bring them dinner again,” she thought aloud. “In fact, I’ll talk to Grace.”

 

Exiting the store, she made her way to the café; little did she realize that her kind intentions was turning into the town’s gossip.

 

XXXXX

 

  With slow motions, Sully moved about the bedroom; getting ready for the day, dressing and tying his boots had tired him out as if it was a full day’s work. However, he continued to do what he could, still not ready to let go of his independence. He sat the edge of the bed, to pause for a minute when Michaela entered the room.

“Hello there,” she smiled.

 

Sully returned the gesture, but kept quiet.

 

“How are you feeling?” His wife drew near, stroking his back.

 

Nodding slowly, Sully took in a deep breath.

 

“I’m alright,” his voice was lower than a whisper. “Are you ready to go?”  He looked to her.

 

Michaela lovingly brushed his bearded cheek.

 

“Only if you are,” she replied.

 

Leaning forward, he stared in silence, momentarily. Without a word, Michaela put her arm around him.

 

“We’re going to get through this,” she whispered. “You’re strong and will fight this.”

 

He nodded and forced out a smile.

 

“Come on,” he rose and took her hand. “Let’s go.”

 

XXXXX

 

It had been decided that Michaela and Daniel were to go with Sully the hospital; for it would be too costly for the entire family and he wouldn’t be there so long. When he arrived in town, he could feel the piercing eyes. There was no hiding, they all knew about his illness; but Sully expected nothing less from their gossiping lips.

 

“Sully,” Robert E. approached. “How ya doing?”

 

“Robert E,” Sully extended a hand.

 

“I’m sure you don’t want everyone in your business,” the blacksmith tugged at his hat. “But Grace and I just wanted you to know that we’re here for ya.”

“Anything ya need,” Grace looked to him and Michaela. “Both of ya, the family, you can count on us.”

 

Sully dipped his head in thanks.

 

“We appreciate that,” Michaela smiled.

 

At that moment the train whistle was heard.

 

“We better be going,” she wrapped her arm on her husband.

 

The family approached the station and it was their Sully said his goodbyes. He choked back tears, especially when holding Katie.

 

“We’re gonna miss you, Pa,” Brian hugged him goodbye.

 

“Me too, son,” Sully kissed his hair. “Don’t worry,” he tried to keep his voice from shaking. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

 

Sully glanced behind to see more of the town watching the scene. He felt like a spectacle; none of them approached, out of sadness or shame, he wasn’t sure; but still, he felt like he and his family were on display.

 

“Stay strong,” Matthew gripped his shoulder and pulled him into an embrace. “Love you.”

 

Squeezing him tight, Sully tightly shut his eyes, keeping the tears from falling. He went on to hug Colleen, who couldn’t hold back her sadness.

 

“Pa,” she threw her arms around him.

 

“Shh, it’s ok,” he stroked his hair. “I’m coming back.”

 

Colleen held onto him a little longer and felt a pain in her heart letting him go. After embracing Andrew and kissing his baby one last time, Sully allowed to wall to fall slightly.

 

“I’m coming back,” he pointed a finger at them as tears rolled down his bearded cheek.

 

His children nodded. The whistle of the train was like a knife in their heart.

 

“I love you,” he said one last time and reached for his wife’s hand.

 

Michaela felt his heaviness as they climbed up the stairs. Sully gave his children a final wave with a smile and watched them until they were out of sight.

 

Daniel took a seat across Michaela and Sully after making sure his brother was comfortable.

 

“How ya feeling?” He inquired.

 

“Never better,” Sully winked and looked out the window.

 

Daniel blew out a laugh.

 

“And the lie?” He teased.

 

“I could sleep,” Sully replied.

 

“Then go ahead, sweetheart,” Michaela touched his shoulder.

 

Sully looked at her and reached for her hand.

 

“I love you,” he stated.

 

“I love you too,” she smiled. “Close your eyes a while. It will be at least an hour before we get to Denver.”

 

“City life,” Sully sank in his seat. “I can hardly wait.”

 

He kept his disposition light, but only because his heart was so heavy. Both Michaela and Daniel wondered how long he could hold it up before the real pain overtook him. Sully was strong, probably the strongest person they knew, but what was his limit? What was too much for him? Michaela prayed she wasn’t about to find out.

Chapter 13

 

  The day after their arrival, Sully was checked in to the hospital. Although his demeanor was composed as natural, a strong fear arose in him upon arrival at the hospital.

 

A physician sat before he and Michaela, asking a series of question.

“What about your family’s medical history?” The older doctor inquired.

 

Sully’s brow wrinkled in uncertainty.

 

“Any history of illness, cancer?”

 

“I don’t really know,” he answered, uneasily.

 

Michaela reached for his hand in support; yet, the doctor blinked in confusion.

 

“I don’t know much of my family,” was all Sully said.

 

The doctor seemed to understand.

 

“And when would you say you first began to experience these symptoms?”

 

Sully was silently hoping for his question not to be asked. He didn’t want to lie, fearing for his health, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to face his wife’s reaction.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to somewhat ignore Michaela, at least for the next few minutes.

 

“Few months ago…” he lowered his gaze.

 

He knew Michaela was looking at him, but she kept silent as the doctor made his notes.

 

“Well, we have a room I believe will be suitable for your needs and after a thorough examination we can discuss and begin treatment.”

 

“Thank you,” Sully respectfully dipped his head.

 

After leading them to a room, the doctor left Sully and Michaela alone for few moments. The room was spacious with two windows letting in a generous amount of light. Sully walked over to one and gazed out at the city below.

 

Without a word, Michaela came behind him and rubbed his back.

 

“Sully,” she sought his attention.

 

He looked at her with tired eyes. Bringing a hand to his cheek, Michaela lovingly stroked his bearded cheek.

 

“It’s been a few months,” she said.

 

Again, he looked down.

 

“I’m sorry,” his voice was lower than a whisper.

 

She tisked and pulled him into an embrace.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered in his hear. “I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me.”

“It ain’t that,” Sully said.

 

They pulled apart and Sully’s heart broke as he saw the tear roll down her cheek. Immediately, he wiped it away.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

He could feel his throat begin to tighten with emotion.

 

“Michaela,” he took her by the hand and walked to the bed.

They seated close to one another.

 

“I’ve been through a lot in my life, been hurt, in fights,” he shrugged, somewhat carelessly. “I ain’t never been scared… for myself. For you, the children,” he nodded. “But myself…I never much cared if something happened.”

 

He lowered his gaze to their hands.

 

“When I first felt this pain…I-I…I never felt anything like it before and…I ain’t never been sick, I just…”

 

The pain in his eyes as tears filled them was a knife in Michaela’s heart.

 

“I ain’t scared to die, Michaela,” he said. “But I…I’m scared to leave you.”

 

Michaela was about comfort him, but saw his emotions getting stronger as he went on.

 

“I don’t wanna be here…alone,” his eyes nervously shifted around the room.

 

“Oh, Sully,” Michaela pulled him into her arms.

 

He didn’t cry hard, but allowed the tears to escape. Resting his head on her shoulder, he relished in her scent and her touch.

 

“You’re never going to be alone,” she vowed. “I promise I’ll be with you every step.”

 

At that moment, a knock at the door was heard. Sully cleared his throat and pulled away from his wife.

 

“Come in,” he said.

 

“We’re ready for your examination, Mr. Sully,” the doctor entered.

 

XXXXX

 

Brian made his way over to the general store to pick up a few things for the house. The upon arriving the chatter for Loren, Dorothy and Jake silenced.

 

“Hey there, son,” Loren approached the counter. “What can I get for ya?”

 

“Hi, Mr. Bray,” Brian unfolded his list. “Just a few things, please,” he handed it to the old man.

 

“Brian,” Dorothy approached. “How’s Sully doing?”

 

Brian hung his head.

 

“Ok, I guess. Ma and Daniel took him to Denver,” he replied.

 

“Denver?” Dorothy was surprised.

 

“Took him to a hospital,” Brian said.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Loren shook his head.

 

“So, Dr. Mike can’t fix him,” Jake chimed him.

 

Dorothy gave him a chastising look as Brian lowered his head.

 

“There ya are, little brother,” Matthew’s voice heard.

 

“Oh, Matthew,” Dorothy said. “I’m so sorry to hear about Sully.”

 

Matthew hung his head and slowly nodded.

 

“Thanks, Ms., Dorothy,” he forced a smile.

 

“How sick is he?” Jake spoke up.

 

Matthew glanced at his younger brother; they both knew it was bad, but Matthew feared verbalizing it would put more fear in Brian.

 

“He’s alright,” he quickly replied. “Getting stronger every day,” he put a hand on Brian’s shoulder. “Come on, brother.”

 

Brian collected his supplies and left with his brother.

 

“Do you think Pa’s really getting stronger?” Brian mounted his horse.

 

“Sure, of it,” Matthew said. “With Ma and the help from the hospital, I’m sure he’ll be back real soon.”

Chapter 14

 

     Lying in the examination room, Sully did his best to keep him mind and body still; with his wife at his side, he felt somewhat calmer. The physician approached his opposite side and when Sully saw him pull out an unusually large needle, his body stiffened even more. Sensing this, Michaela gripped and stroked his hand.

 

“Firstly, I’m going to draw a sample of blood. It will only take minute,” the doctor informed.

 

Sully nodded and turned from the direction in which the needle would be injected. He wasn’t sure if it was his fear or his physical condition, but something about hurt more than when Michaela administered his medicine.

 

Seeing the pain reflect in her husband’s face, Michaela rose from her chair and drew close to him. Stroking back his hair and speaking softly.

 

“You’re doing so well, my love,” her voice was just above a whisper. “Keep breathing. It’ll be over soon.”

 

Sully tightly shut his eyes, the injection feeling like fire through his arm. He squeezed hard to Michaela’s hand; finally, the needle came out.

 

“Shh,” Michaela stroked his forehead. “It’s all over.”

 

Sully’s eyes moistened, from the pain or actual tears, Michaela wasn’t sure.

 

“We’ll examine this sample and be back shortly,” the doctor wrapped Sully’s arm. “You’re welcome to rest here until you’re feeling better.

 

“Thank you,” Sully exhaled.

 

The physician departed, leaving Michaela and Sully alone.

 

“Can I get you anything?” Michaela stroked his knuckles; and suddenly noticed how weak his grip was.

 

Sully seemed ponder momentarily before requesting.

 

“Could I have another blanket?” He shyly asked.

 

“Of course, sweetheart,” Michaela rose and went to the chest of drawers in the corner.

 

Pulling out a wool blanket, she laid it across her husband and tucked him in. She noticed his eyes becoming heavy.

 

“Are you tired?”

 

“No,” he lied. “I just…wanna look at you,” he weakly smiled.

 

Joining him at the side again, Michaela poured a glass of water.

 

“Here you are,” she offered it to his lips.

 

Accepting her help, Sully consumed a generous amount.

 

“My head feels funny,” he admitted, lying back.

 

“That’s from the loss of blood,” she informed. “Just try to lie still. Close your eyes and rest,” again she clasped his hand.

 

He looked at her yearning to rest.

 

“I’m here,” she sensed his feelings. “Rest now. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

 

Allowing himself to close his eyes, Sully fell asleep within minutes. True to her word, Michaela stayed right there, too fearful to remove herself from his side.

 

XXXXX

 

“Alright, thank you. Yes, I’ll let him know.”

Sully could hear his wife’s voice but he wasn’t fully awake yet. He stirred slightly, beginning to open his eyes. He was back in the patient’s room, in which they first settled. Michaela had been speaking to someone and was now closing the door behind her.

 

“Hello there,” she approached him.

 

“Who were ya talking to?” He cleared his throat.

 

“The doctor,” Michaela sat beside him.

 

Sully’s expression inquired of what they discussed.

 

“Sully,” she breathed. “The results of your test came back.”

His back slightly stiffened as he braced himself for the news.

 

“It appears that your spleen and liver enlargement were much bigger signs…than I realized,” she blinked. “Your white blood cells are extremely high; and unlike cancers that present as tumors, leukemia starts in the blood…making traditional staging more difficult.”

 

Sully nodded slowly and glanced downward at their clasped hands.

 

XXXXX

 

“There’s still so much we don’t know about this disease,” Dr. Morris stood at the end of the bed. “We can prescribe opium for the pain and new research is being made of this radioactive treatment in which we can experiment.”

 

“But there’s no cure,” Sully spoke.

 

“New therapies are making profound progress in this field,” the doctor tried to be optimistic.

 

Sully took in a deep breath and started into the distance; Michaela reached for his hand.

 

“But…there’s no cure…” he uttered.

 

Dr. Morris hung his head.

 

“Not that we know of,” he admitted. “But these treatments are reaching more and more people.”

 

Sully nodded looking downward.

 

“Perhaps I’ll give you two a moment,” the doctor said.

 

Michaela nodded in thanks, but Sully kept his gaze at their hands. The door closed behind him and Michaela drew to her husband.

 

“Sully,” tears filled her eyes.

 

He gave no response.

 

“Don’t you want to try these treatments?” She brushed the hair from his face.

 

“I guess so,” his voice was lower than whisper.

 

“Oh Sully, we have to try any way we can,” she tried to encourage.

 

He nodded, still looking away,

 

“Sully,” Michaela touched is chin.

 

His tearful eyes met hers and he gave a sigh; he had no words.

 

“Oh, my love,” she pulled him into an embrace.

 

“We have to... tell the children,” his voice was thick with emotion. “I…I’d like to see them.”

 

Michaela pulled back and nodded.

 

“I’ll send them a telegram right away.”

 

At that moment, a knock at the door was heard.

 

“Come in,” Michaela called.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” a nurse entered. “But I’m afraid visiting hours are over.”

 

They hadn’t thought about that…

 

“Could you give us just a moment?” Michaela inquired.

 

“Of course,” the nurse closed the door.

 

“You gotta go?” Sully looked at her innocently.

 

“They don’t allow visitors to stay overnight,” she ran her fingers through his hair.

 

“But you’re…how am I….” he paused, realizing he’d have to be a bit more in control. “Alright,” he swallowed hard.

 

“I’ll be here first thing in the morning,” she vowed. “And I’ll wire the children.”

 

He nodded.

 

“Promise me you’ll inform the nurse if you’re unwell.”

 

“Yes,” he nodded again.

 

“Oh Sully,” her heart was breaking. “How can I leave you?”

 

“You’re coming back,” he said. “And I’ll be here. Nothing’s gonna happen to me,” he sensed her fears.

 

Sully pulled her into an embrace.

 

“I can’t leave you,” she cried.

 

“Shh, you ain’t leaving me. We’ll always be together,” he felt his throat tighten.

 

After a few minutes, they finally pulled apart. Sully wiped his wife’s damp cheeks and forced a smile.

 

“Everything’s gonna be alright,” he said.

 

Michaela nodded and leaned close, kissing his lips.

 

“Make sure you rest,” she said.

 

Reaching for her hand, he brought it to his lips.

 

“You too,” he said.

 

Cupping his face in her hands, Michaela took in his beauty. Yes, she’d see him in the morning…

 

“I love you,” she kissed him again.

 

“I love you too,” he smiled, weakly.

 

Michaela collected her coat and turned before opening the door.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.

 

Sully’s felt a pain in his heart as she closed the door. Michaela allowed a few more tears to escape as she walked down the hall.

 

The room was darkening as the night settled. It was quiet, in an uncomfortable way. Situating himself, Sully laid down and stared up at the ceiling. Yes, he’d see her in the morning…he prayed.

 

Pray? Being alone in this way, Sully wasn’t sure what else he could do. He hadn’t prayed in a number of years. But when the deep pain arose in his bones, he squeezed his eyes shut.

 

“God,” tears collected in his eyes. “Make the pain go away…”

Chapter 15

 

     Finding himself restless through the night, Sully turned over for the umpteenth time. However, lying on his stomach proved to be a bad idea. Suddenly, he broke out into a coughing fit; his chest rattled with a congestion he didn’t have before. Painfully sitting up, Sully coughed into his arm. His abdomen contracting painfully as he wheezed. Pulling back his arm, he felt his stomach drop, blood stained the sleeve of his shirt and the taste burned his mouth.

 

  Sully drew back the covers and tried to stand, but the dizziness and lack of balance overtook him. He nearly fell over but managed to lie back down. He needed a doctor, but knew his body wouldn’t allow him to move. Everything was spinning, his vision blurred and pain took him over.

 

Thank God a nurse entered at that moment. If she said anything, Sully didn’t hear it. He was taken over by the pain and hacking. Seeing the blood pour from his mouth, the nurse ran to fetch the doctor.

 

Sully was nearly choking; but the pain was too much, he couldn’t sit up. The coughing went on when suddenly he felt hands begin to lift him.

 

“You’re alright,” it was Dr. Morris. “Nurse, hold him up.”

 

The nurse, who was of small stature did her best to keep Sully still and upright. Dr. Morris grabbed his stethoscope and listened to Sully’s chest and lungs.

 

“It’s a pulmonary hemorrhage,” Dr. Morris looked to the nurse.

 

Sully, whose face was wet with tears from the lack of oxygen could barely comprehend the doctor’s words.

 

“Prepare for surgery,” the doctor instructed.

 

Pouring something on a cloth, Dr. Morris placed it over Sully’s nose and mouth. It eased his coughing somewhat, but not completely; and the pain was still persistent.

 

In a wheelchair, Sully was led to the surgery room. The doctor proceeded to explain the circumstances, but Sully was still having difficulty understanding. As he laid back on the table, the doctor had told him that he was going to be fine and his surroundings turned into darkness.

 

XXXXX

 

“He’s gonna be alright,” Daniel knelt before Michaela.

 

“I shouldn’t have left him,” she fretted. “Daniel, he was so afraid. Oh, he doesn’t deserve this.”

 

“Of course he doesn’t. But it’s not your fault,” Daniel noticed how she stared out in the distance. “Michaela,” he spoke firmly. “Nothing you did or didn’t do caused this.”

 

Before he could go on, Dr. Morris emerged from the operating room. Michaela and Daniel leapt to their feet.

 

“How is he?” Michaela worried.

 

“He was suffering from a pulmonary hemorrhage,” Dr. Morris wiped his hands. 

 

“What’s that?” Daniel inquired.

 

“Bleeding in the lungs,” he replied. “Unfortunately, your husband’s condition is much worse.”

 

Michaela worriedly wrung her hands together. Daniel put a hand on her back, bracing her for the news.

 

“I’m afraid the cancer cells…have spread to cerebrospinal fluid, the bone marrow near the brain and the spinal cord. There are strong medicines that can help combat the symptoms. I suggest lumbar puncture would be the best option at this point.”

 

Michaela nodded.

 

“May I see him?” She tearfully requested.

 

“Of course,” the doctor moved aside.

 

Daniel walked her into the room and immediately she rushed to her husband’s side. He was still asleep and looking so peaceful. She kissed his face and then went into doctor mood. Ever so gently, she pulled back the blanket and examined the incision; it was deep and he would need to be careful moving about once he woke up.     

 

Covering him back up, Michaela remained at his side, anticipating for him to awake; but also relieved he was resting.

 

XXXXX

 

“Perhaps someone should stay and look after the clinic?” Colleen glanced behind at the town.

 

“Don’t worry about the clinic,” Andrew put an arm around his wife. “Besides what they do before Michaela was here?”

 

Colleen blew out a laugh.

 

“Bleed folks and take out bullets with antiseptics,” she said.

 

Andrew nearly cringed. He stopped walking and stood before Colleen.

 

“As much as I hope for the town’s safety, Sully’s health is the priority right now. From the sound of Michaela’s letter, he’s gonna need all the support he can get.”

 

Colleen looked and clasped her husband’s hands.

 

“Thank you, Andrew,” she said.

 

“No need to thank me,” he smiled softly.

 

Colleen shook her head.

 

‘No,” she stated. “Thank you. You’ve accepted my brothers, Ma, Sully and his family like your own. I know how your father feels about you coming out west.”

 

Andrew put a hand on her shoulder and she fell silent.

 

“My father isn’t half the man Sully is,” he said to Colleen’s surprise. “This is our family now…and the train will be here any minute.”

 

Giving a smile of relief, Colleen embraced her husband.

 

“Pretty cold out here,” Matthew said as he approached. “Looks like a storm is coming.”

 

“Hopefully after we get to Denver,” Colleen said.

 

“How do you suppose Pa’s doing?” Brian thought.

 

“Alright as long as Ma’s with him,” Matthew tried to sound optimistic.

 

“And Daniel,” Brian offered.

 

“Matthew?” A voice sounded from the distance.

 

They turned their attention to see Dorothy approaching.

 

“Ms. Dorothy,” he tipped his hat.

 

“Where are y’all off to?” She pulled her shawl around her shoulders.

 

“Uh…Denver,” he gave a glance to his siblings.

 

“We’re gotta see Pa,” Brian said.

 

Dorothy’s eyes filled with pity.

 

“How’s he doing? Any word from your Ma?”

 

Dorothy noticed the sad expressions on their faces.

 

“How is Sully?” She worried.

 

“Dr. Mike said he had an operation,” Matthew said. “That’s why we gotta go out there.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Dorothy put a hand on Brian’s shoulder.

 

At that moment Loren came up behind Dorothy.

 

“Is there anything we can do for you?” He asked.

 

“There’s not much to do,” Colleen said, the sadness evident in her voice.

 

“We’ll know more once we see Sully,” Andrew said.

 

“I’m gonna organize a pray meeting at the church tonight,” Dorothy said. “Tell Sully we love him.”

Although they gave her their thanks, the children didn’t seem touched by her words. Of course, they were upset and eager to see Sully, Dorothy thought to herself.

 

As the train rolled in Cloud Dancing quickly appeared with a skinned back across his body.

 

“Cloud Dancing?” Brian frowned.

 

“Is it not time to go?” The medicine man said.

 

“You’re going to Denver?” Dorothy blinked in surprise.

 

“I am going to see my brother,” he replied, simply.

 

The rest of the town watched as they departed.

 

“Never seen them care ‘bout Sully before,” Matthew was skeptical.

 

Brian frowned at his brother.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Not so long ago they didn’t seem to care if Sully was gonna hang…”

 

XXXXX

 

That night the towns members gathered to the church, some still not knowing the reason.

 

“Having a council meeting without Michaela?” Hank leaned against the wall.

 

“No, Hank,” the Reverend said. “Dorothy’s asked that we come together for a prayer meeting.”

 

“For what reason?” Teresa, Jake’s wife asked.

 

“For Dr. Mike and Sully,” Dorothy said. “I don’t know if you all have heard but Sully is sick…”

 

“Sick?” Preston frowned. “With what?”

 

Dorothy sighed.

 

“Michaela says he has cancer…”

 

The silence was heavy.

 

“That’s why they’re in Denver. He’s at a hospital.”

 

“Michaela can’t fix him?” Hank said/

 

“I don’t really know why they left,” Dorothy admitted.

 

“Either way,” Grace stepped up. “They need our prayers.”

 

XXXXX

 

Sully felt lightheaded as he opened his eyes. There was a pulsing pain in his head and neck; he felt nauseous. Before he was fully aware of his surroundings, he heard his wife’s voice over him.

 

“Sully,” she held his hand, suddenly realizing how dry his skin was.

 

“Hmm?” He struggled to awake.

 

“Shh, it’s alright. You’re alright, I’m here,” Michaela a calming tone would bring him ease.

 

“Michaela,” he opened his eyes more, slowly focusing.

 

“I’m here, my darling,” she touched his bearded cheek.

 

“What happened/” He tried to raise his head.

 

He noticed the children’s presence and took in a surprised breath.

 

“Easy,” Daniel out a gentle hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey Pa,” Brian said.

 

Attempting to sit up, a pain shot through his side again. His eyes shut tightly as his breathing hitched.

 

“Don’t move, Sully,” Michaela put her hands on him.

 

Due to his highly medicated state, the surprise of the children caused a stronger reaction. Michaela knew sudden movements would break the stitches, but she also didn’t want to hold him down too hard. Sully’s breathing hitched as the pain took him over.

 

Gently passing the children, Cloud Dancing stood at his brother’s side. Sully was unable to react due to the pain, but he was aware of the medicine man’s presence. Reaching into his pocket, Cloud Dancing pulled out some kind of rag in which herbs were wrapped. He brought it to Sully’s mouth and noise, encouraging him to breath in.

 

“Slowly now,” he said in his native language.

 

It took Sully a few minutes before his breathing regulated.

 

“Lavender,” Cloud Dancing told Michaela.

 

To Cloud Dancing surprise, Sully did not let go of his arm, while he closed his eyes. The medicine man took a seat beside him; Michaela did the same.

 

The children who watched, felt somewhat uncomfortable, not sure if their presence was disturbing their father. Michaela seemed to sense their feelings and quickly dismissed them by her invitation.

 

“Come close,” she opened an arm. “He needs you…”

 

Hesitantly they approached; Brian sat beside his mother.

 

“It’s alright,” she put her arm around him.

 

Tears rose in Brian’s eyes, but he quickly wiped them away; however, not quick enough for Michaela. Her eyes moistened as all.

 

“He’s going to be alright,” she held his hand. “You know how strong Sully is,” she forced a smile.

 

“But he…” Brian looked at his father’s sleeping face. “He looks so weak…”

 

Michaela turned to gaze at her husband. Brian was right… she had seen Sully injured, beaten and shot and his color never faded so much. She wanted to uplift her son, reassure him but for the first time, she was at a loss of words. All they could do was stay with him and somehow hope.