No Longer Lonely
Quinn’s Library by Jasmine L
When Matthew visits Sully, who is hiding out,
he ends up consoling his father's broken heart.
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Matthew departed the homestead and was on his way to the Sheriff’s office. He had just gotten a few books with information, he thought would be helpful with Sully’s situation. He stopped as the road intersected; left was the was town and to the right…was Sully, the cave he had been hiding out at. It had been a while since he had seen Sully, so he decided to go right.
Descending his horse, Matthew approached the cave only to find it empty. His heart skipped a beat, but he kept himself calm as he walked around, looking for Sully. He stopped suddenly when he heard heavy breathing; then he saw him. Sully, sitting on the ground in front of a small pond, crying.
Matthew’s heart broke at the sight and with careful steps, he walked up to him. Not careful enough however, Sully’s head shot up when he heard him approaching.
“Hey,” Matthew’s voice was low.
Sully sighed, looking away. Matthew could see the guilt he felt for being caught in such an emotional state.
He sat beside Sully and spoke softly, “It’s gonna be all right,” he said.
Sully sighed heavily, but kept quiet.
A moment of silence passed and Matthew decided to break it.
“I just came from the homestead.”
Sully hummed in response.
“Got some things I think will help ya.”
This time Sully didn’t reply; he just stared out and Matthew could see the pain in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know ya miss Dr. Mike and everything.”
Letting out a shaky breath, Sully wiped the tears from eyes.
“I guess I asked for this,” his voice quivered.
Matthew looked at him with perplexity.
“Didn’t do me any good anyway,” he swallowed hard.
“What do you mean?” The younger man asked carefully.
Sully let out a heavy breath.
“You think I would have helped the Indians if I knew this would happen?” He raised his voice.
The silence that fell was heavy and Matthew’s next words he chose extremely carefully.
“Yeah,” he said. “I think you would have.”
Sully glanced at him and looked away, angry.
“Because you’re a good man.”
“Look where it got me,” he snapped back.
His words held a meaning that Matthew knew was deeper than what it seemed.
“I’m right back where I was,” Sully’s voice was low.
He suddenly became very distant, his eyes gazed far and his voice a drawl to it.
“Alone…”
It wasn’t Matthew’s heart that broke at his words, but his soul.
“You’re not alone, Sully,” he said
Again, a heavy sigh came from the older man.
“What do you call this?” He waved a hand. “I haven’t been with anyone in half a year. I haven’t seen my kids, my wife. I live alone. I spend every second alone. I-I…” he ran out words.
He shut off, all he knew was he was alone and he couldn’t take it anymore.
When Matthew heard a whimper escape from him, he put a hand on Sully’s back. Sully couldn’t control his emotions. Normally, he wouldn’t dare let himself cry in front of any of the kids, but this time he…just couldn’t.
Matthew felt tears well in his own eyes.
“It’s gonna be all right,” he rubbed Sully’s shoulder.
“How?” Sully pulled back. “No one’s gonna help me. The army ain’t gonna listen.”
Matthew sighed, as much as it hurt him, he understood why Sully was so hopeless. It had been half a year since, he began hiding out and even though it was only “temporary,” time was taking its toll.
With a heavy heart, Matthew knelt down before him and let a tear escape down his cheek.
“I know it’s hard. I know…how bad you’re hurting,” he paused and held Sully’s hand. “Sully, I promise…I’m gonna do everything I can to clear your name and I won’t stop until you’re free. I won’t stop fighting.”
Sully tensed with emotion. He could feel his heart beat faster and the tears collected in his eyes. He had not seen Matthew cry in years…not since Ingrid died; and to see him knelt before him, so open and honest brought waves emotions.
“You’re never alone, Sully,” he squeezed his shoulder. “Not like before.”
Lowering his head, Sully let the tears flow freely; his shoulders quivered under Matthew’s hand and the younger man pulled him into an embrace. Sully tried to contain his emotions but couldn’t.
“I’m so sorry,” he cried. “I…I’m sorry.”
“Shh,” Matthew rubbed his back. “You got nothing to be sorry for.”
“I never meant-” his breathing labored as tears streamed down his cheeks and he was unable to speak.
But no words were needed. Matthew embraced him and his heart ached as Sully wept on his shoulder. To see the man who had been like a father to him for so long break down like this, pained him. He understood Sully’s agony and in no way judged him for showing such feelings. In fact, he respected such a strong man to allow himself to be so vulnerable.
“I’m sorry,” Sully’s breath hitched.
Matthew squeezed him tighter and allowed his own tears to fall more freely.
After a moment of crying, Sully composed himself and pulled back. His wiped his face and hung his head, feeling ashamed for showing his sorrow.
“I’m sorry,” he swallowed hard.
Matthew kept a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said.
Sully kept his gaze fixed on the ground but Matthew kept on speaking.
“When Ingrid died you and Dr. Mike didn’t let me be alone,” he said. “I even wanted to die and no matter how much I fought you two, you wouldn’t let me.”
Sully raised his head and gazed at Matthew with tearful eyes.
“I know what it’s like to be all alone,” he continued. “And I know what it feels like to have a family…pull you from…loneliness.”
For a moment, he paused and they looked at one another.
“I’m not gonna let you do this alone, Sully,” Matthew affirmed.
Sully felt the immense love pour from the younger man and he fell speechless as Matthew’s words touched him.
“. I won’t let the army take you away from us. I won’t let it be like use to be…I promise, Sully.”
Matthew reached out a hand and wiped the tears from Sully’s cheeks. Drawing in a deep breath, Sully spoke in a low strained voice.
“Thank you,” was all he could say.
With a slight smile, Matthew again embraced the older man.
“No matter what,” he whispered in his ear.
Sully closed his eyes and took in his son’s words. Then broke the embrace and Matthew cleared his throat.
“I found some things I think might help ya,” he said.
Sully nodded.
“Let’s look at ‘em,” he said.
Matthew smiled at Sully’s acceptance and he rose to retrieve to the books from his saddle bag. Before returning, he watched Sully; he truly was the strongest man he knew, not defined by physical strength but his fortitude. And after witnessing him in such an exposed moment, he realized the extent of the strength. It was that resilience; Matthew knew held the entire family together and what would see him through this trial.
It was Sully’s strength, not the law, the army, or books that would bring him to freedom. Sully’s soul was his own remedy and he didn’t even know it. But Matthew did and he wouldn’t allow the pain of loneliness overtake it.
THE END
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