Season 1 Episode 1
The fire had died and the cold had settled. He glanced over at Dr. Mike and perceived her to be asleep. He had planned on doing the same, but her simple inquiry had prevented him from doing so. Sully’s mind was restless, as he asked himself the same question.
“Do you ever get homesick, Mr. Sully?” It wasn’t necessarily “homesick.” Sully never really had a home; from a young age he had traveled from home to home, country to city. He could never fathom a proper definition of home. However, the absence of family is what caused his heart to ache.
Ever so quietly, Sully rose from his spot on the ground, across from Dr. Mike and departed the tent. The tribe was asleep, including his friend, Cloud Dancing; he didn’t want to wake the medicine man. He, along with other members would look for the boy, Brian come sun up; Sully knew they needed rest. So he chose to be alone in his sadness; making his way to the riverbank near by, he knelt before the steady water and closed his eyes, hoping to find some sort of peace in the quite of the night.
Peace was far from his reach, as his mind filled with images from the past. What Sully wouldn’t give for those memories to be reality once more. He thought of the new doctor, who had come from the east to start a new life; it reminded Sully of his own life. Coming to the west, not to start of new life, but to discard the old one. Sully never wanted to come to Colorado, nor any other territory he found himself in. He wanted to be home, like the where that doctor came from, the east.
As much as Sully loved, yes loved the Cheyenne and they loved him back, his place was not among them. They had taken him in as their own, cared for him, taught him things that were more precious than the silver he had come to the Rockies for. However, grateful he was, there was something inside of him that wasn’t fulfilled. He still felt alone, he still felt that vacancy in his soul that appeared ten years prior. When he came home that fateful day, to a desolate homestead…
Sully was a man of twenty-seven, yet under the circumstances he had endured and the experiences he had, his mind was much older. His instinct was that of a father, not a young man. He had to be that way, ever since his mother left. Ever since he had to be the man of the house and fend for himself and his own, his kin. Yes, Sully was homesick. He longed for the summer days where the sun never set and he had company from the moment it rose. It wasn’t much company, but it was all he needed, all he missed.
The absence of his brother made Sully’s nights restless. He felt vulnerable when the memories came, as well as fearful. If Sully couldn’t care for the one person he loved, what good was he to care for anyone else? Despite how he felt toward her, the doctor, he couldn’t proceed with any of those feelings; he couldn’t let himself feel, fall, especially in that way. Although, he had lost loved ones many times before: his mother, wife, child, nothing hurt as much as the loss of Tr- his brother. His mind flooded with memories of sorrow, even the pleasant recollections stung.
Sully wasn’t aware of the tears flowing from his eyes, until his breathing hitched. He knew he shouldn’t let himself ruminate over his loss, but he couldn’t help it. The pain would never dissipate. He recalled the sorrowful day as if it was just recent…
Coming home to an empty house, that seemed as if no one had ever resided within its walls. As if the beds had never been slept in, the table never sat at, smiles never made nor tears ever shed. It seemed that any thought of relations was but a fabrication or dream, that turned into a nightmare.
From a distance, Dr. Mike, Michaela watched the mountain man weep to himself. Her heart went out with him and her impulse, as a doctor was to approach and console him. However, the reserved, unapproachable demeanor Sully displayed restricted her from doing so. He cried silently to himself; from time to time, Michaela heard a small sob escape him, but for the most part, he kept quiet. She didn’t know, of course what the cause of the emotional state was, but somehow Michaela could sense the isolation he felt. She didn’t know this man, other than some information provided by Charlotte Cooper; but from what she did know and what she witnessed, Michaela could piece together that Sully was a depressed and dejected soul.
After a time, the tears subsided; Sully reached a hand in the cool river and washed his face. Composing himself, he drew in a deep breath and rose to his feet. In fear that he would swiftly turn around, Michaela darted back inside the tent and under the blanket he provided.
Swiftly was not subtle enough for Sully, his keen ears heard her movements, but he didn’t make it known. He wanted to be left alone with his sorrows and Michaela let him do just that. Quietly, more so than Michaela, he returned to the tent. She hadn’t heard him enter or felt his presence until Wolf made a small whine. Opening her eyes, Michaela noticed him, lying on the ground with no blanket, starting into the dying flames of the fire.
He knew she was awake and she knew he was aware of her sleeplessness. Although, Michaela had awoken due to her fear over losing Brian, she stayed awake with concern over this stranger. Well, he wasn’t exactly a stranger, but he wasn’t a friend, he was just…Sully.
Quietly sniffing and turning his back to the doctor, Sully snuggled close to Wolf. The animal seemed to sense his despondency and he remained close to his guardian. Being Wolf’s guardian, knowing that he could care him, made Sully feel some sort of relief, but it wasn’t much and he knew it was impish.
Forcing himself to reject the memories of the past or at least try to, Sully closed his eyes and willed sleep to take over. Yet, he didn’t doze for even a second; he felt lonely and it hurt even more because he knew, he really was alone. Despite the company of, not of a stranger but Michaela, just a few feet from him, Sully felt more alone than ever before. For now, he wanted someone, who he couldn’t have.
T H E
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